About Chadia

25. God-fearing. Caribbean Woman. Decisive. Indecisive. Confused. Sure. I’m figuring out life on God’s terms.
 
A few days ago I told a high school friend that lately I’d been feeling like I had been duped. Back then adulthood seemed so much more glamorous; so much more appealing than it really is.
 
We were told to imagine great things and that we’d achieve them if only we believed. In church some of us were taught to declare a thing and it would come to pass. We were told that if we waited until marriage to have sex that our sexual experience would be greater than those who didn’t wait.
 
I found these things not to be guarantees. I found that life is difficult and sometimes that difficulty is inescapable. I found that no matter how hard I work, certain things and experiences will never be mine. I found that there were people who were fornicate who found sex to be more enjoyable than people who waited until marriage. I found out that no matter what happens, God is God. He is the only constant.
 
So, what does one do when it turns out that most of what one has been taught about life doesn’t manifest? What does one do when it remains, amidst the dissonance, that God is constant?
 
I can’t speak for everyone but I made the decision not to hold fast to anything but God: his love, his heart, his voice, his laws and his precepts. I decided to explore the heart of God for times and seasons, for men and women, for adults and children. It has been one of the best decisions of my life.