By someone else’s standards, my 2021 may have been a fairly normal year, but in my eyes, it was more than normal; one of the best years I’ve had in a bit. For one, this was the first year that I was debt-free since I left university in 2013. And I think that made everything better. I was able to start off a few projects, explore Ghana, travel to see my family in Saint Lucia, upgrade my tech, and start a new lease in Ghana. Btw, I’m extremely proud of my new apartment because I went through so much to be able to grab something that I liked affordably in these Accra streets. But we’ll chat about that in another blog post. For now, this is what my 2021 looked like.
My New Ventures
I’m always starting some type of business. I’m addicted to the thrill of coming up with an idea and bringing it to life. This year was no different and as a matter of fact, being debt-free gave me extra space to explore even more of my ideas.
I started off the Guru Project, a group of directories dedicated to helping. Unfortunately, besides building the platforms, I wasn’t able to do much with this project in 2021. As a matter of fact, I purposely put it on hold after an incident with a sales hire discouraged me greatly. Can you imagine your girl giving the last of her funds to a young man who promised that he would be able to assist in gaining the necessary traction for the directories, sitting in your house drinking ONLY tea for two days, and at the end of the month, he delivers nothing?
Well… that was me. The things I do for my companies.
For my most successful venture of 2021, I partnered with a Ghanaian friend to start and grow a natural skin and beauty care company called Dinam Naturals. Within the space of 3 months, we retailed many many units of our products and expanded to new markets. Currently, we’ve shipped to Brazil, Canada, Kenya, Trinidad and Tobago, Saint Lucia, the United States, the United Kingdom, and Germany. To add to that, we started a small, growing distribution network and things went so well, that we’ve sold out all of our stock and have back orders that we never anticipated.
Now, I love what we’ve been able to accomplish with Dinam Naturals, but I’d say that my most fulfilling undertaking of 2021 is notes. At notes. we created two platforms – wasscenotes. and cxcnotes. – to provide free, structured, syllabi-tailored, high-quality, comprehensive learning resources for WASSCE, CAPE, and CXC students across West Africa and the Caribbean. The notes are beautifully illustrated and written to suit their target audience. The platform also has built-in: flash card sets, forum discussions, audio notes (in English and other local languages), and tutorial videos tailored to the WASSCE, CAPE, and CSEC curricula.
I Did Lots of Fulfilling Work
Towards the latter part of the year, I started working as a consultant with an Open Education consultancy firm out of Cambridge, United Kingdom. I gave lots of my time and diligence toward the implementation of a Learning Recovery Program across the Caribbean region, and I got something in return: an opportunity to pick the brains of some of the most experienced consultants in the open education development space. I gained tons of perspective about the steps I could take to move notes. forward, and I’m looking forward to implementing in 2022 God willing.
I Did Better with Managing My Finances
Whoo! I’m 30, and I still don’t have the whole management of my personal finances down yet; for a number of reasons:
- I loan out money; too much money. I can’t say no if someone is in need and let’s just say I have an uncanny knack for loaning money to people who always do not pay me back at the agreed-upon time.
- Because I work in the consultancy/freelance space, I don’t make a set amount of money consistently. I can have glutton months where I make tons of money and other months of famine where I make little to NO money.
Still, this year was one of my best years financially. I was able to meet my needs, and then some, and I was also able to help others to meet theirs. I gave generously. Very early on, I stopped tracking how much money I gave out because if I did I probably would have a heart attack.
I left the year with a nice chunk of savings ( I save with Esusu) even after being able to get my fam some pretty dope gifts. My bank in the US even finally convinced me to take up the dreaded “credit card”. Y’all know I don’t like credit, but my banker had a long chat with me about some of my future plans, and building my credit seemed a very good idea at the time. So… I have a credit card. One which I’ve been using very well, might I add.
Bringing the Sexy Ras Back
A long time ago, I used to wear dreadlocks, and ever since I cut them off almost seven years ago, I’ve struggled to make a decision between wearing my hair completely short, or loc’d. Well, this year, my 30th year of life, I took the plunge. I am bringing the “sexy Ras” back. I am officially 9 months locked today, and I can’t wait to show you all what my hair looks like on its first anniversary.
2021 Was A Happy Year
Since I saw my horrible Cambridge A Level grades, I’ve hated exams, and I’ve consistently battled anxiety and depression. In 2021, 11 years since the genesis of that struggle, I had one of my happiest years. I took time to do things. Besides work. I explored Ghana, hit up a couple of restaurants, and art galleries, and even took in a bit of the nightlife. I traveled. In the middle of a pandemic. On my way home, I stopped over in New York for five days and these 5 days marked literally the most amount of time that I’ve spent exploring the city for ALL of the times I’ve gone to New York.
Title:
Author:
Candace Carthy-Williams
Formats
Paperback, Hardback, Kindle & Audible
From the very first paragraph, it is abundantly clear that, Queenie, a 25-year old, black British woman of Jamaican heritage, is firmly rooted in a world of turmoil; one, that she will, without question, need help getting out of.
We are introduced to Queenie while she is laid out on a doctor’s table. While undergoing her examination, she texts almost endlessly seeking the support of a partner who has in all surety, checked out of their relationship. In the midst of this abandonment, as if to add insult to injury, she finds herself in a space where her healthcare providers seem determined to eliminate her as an active participant in her healthcare.
But hey, I don’t want to give away the whole story. You can grab the book. For now, allow me to address some of what were, to me, the most impressionable themes from the book.
Women Soldiering On
Without giving out too much, Queenie’s diagnosis is of significant emotional import. For lack of better words, it is emotionally devastating. However, she doesn’t take the time to deal with what her doctors have shared. She hops off the table and goes right back into life as normal: work, managing friendships, a broken relationship and immediately taking the task of moving to a new space.
Unaddressed Trauma
The most abundant and perhaps central theme in Candace Carthy-William’s freshman novel is unaddressed trauma.
As a young woman, Queenie experienced a barrage of traumatic experiences which remained untreated. This later reflects in superior self-destructive behavior. If nothing else, Queenie is a reminder to all who read to make the necessary effort to unpack the stories and traumas of their childhood in order to be able to construct and navigate healthier futures.
Mental Health in British-Caribbean Circles
Queenie knew that she needed help. Her friends tried to tell he subtly that she wasn’t her usual, happy self. Additionally, her behavior had began to drift far off from her norm. But she hesitated in getting help, in large part because of what she knew her typical Caribbean family’s reaction would be if she opted to go the route of therapy.
Queenie’s struggles, stories and journey feel familiar, not so much in a personal way, but in a Caribbean way. As a young Caribbean woman, I understood probably too well the aversion to unpacking the past and the stigma associated with mental health that is deeply characteristic of Caribbean societies and their diaspora. The book dealt with social issues that genuinely needed to be addressed. Even then, I’d give this book a 3.5/5 rating. Maybe it’s because the reviews which I read prior described the book as gut-busting-humorous, forcing me to come in with great expectations of what Caribbean humor should read and feel like. I didn’t feel like I got that humour. The themes were deeply serious, and I while I wasn’t displeased, I found very little humor in how raw and truthfully they were represented.
All in all this was a very good first attempt by Candace Carthy-Williams.
This post was simply supposed to be about introducing another project. About 2 paragraphs in, I recognized that it could be something a little more. While I will still use the post to introduce Wakonté’s latest project, I also see it as an opportunity to give people a glimpse into some of the experiences that have shaped me and led me to do what I do today: conceptualizing and building Caribbean and African tailored solutions.
The project I introduce today is something called cxcnotes. It is an attempt to provide open, free, curriculum-tailored, high-quality, comprehensive learning resources for CAPE and CSEC Students. This means that I am essentially seeking to provide a SparkNotes or CliffNotes like platform with content that has been specifically tailored to the CAPE and CSEC curricula. This means that in addition to tailored, well-written, and beautifully illustrated notes, we are seeking to provide high-quality audio and video content to accommodate different learning styles. And we will need your help.
But first, what experiences led me to build this platform?
Life As A Student
I was a CSEC Lit student. That choice sometimes came with the responsibility of analyzing the poems on the required list using a simple framework. Some of the poems were Caribbean, and some were not. For the poems which weren’t Caribbean, a simple Google search would lead one to numerous pieces of analysis. The same cannot be said for the Caribbean poems. I often felt slighted.
In one of my searches, I discovered SparkNotes and cliff notes. These were websites dedicated to providing SAT and early college students with high-quality, well-written, condensed notes for various subjects. At 15, I felt like the Caribbean should have had the same.
Life As an Educator
I taught CAPE Communication and Caribbean Studies for about a year, and I absolutely loved it; at least the educating part.
My approach to teaching was to encourage my students to adopt a posture of independence towards their learning. Yes, I was there to guide them, but I understood that by teaching them to learn independently of me, that I was placing them in a position to access greater opportunities. If you’re excited about learning and know how to do it, the world is truly your oyster. Most of them were not on board with it. And in a sense, I understood why.
My system put more pressure on them. It required more work, and in their minds jeopardized their chances of getting the best grades. It required them to read more and to seek more than let’s say, a child in the US writing the SATs or a child in the UK writing A Levels. This conundrum existed largely because there were very few resources tailored specifically to their contexts; resources which helped them come to the point of the matter sooner than they were already doing.
At the same time, conversations with some of my colleagues led me to realize that when students conducted research outside of the textbooks and prescribed resources they sometimes fell prey to misinformation. The combination of these conversations – those with my students and my colleagues – made me realize that my approach to teaching would become more palatable to my students if they had a trusted resource, tailored to their syllabi.
Life As A Regionalist
I entered the University of the West Indies in 2010, a 19-year-old Saint Lucian woman. I left a 22-year-old Caribbean woman. Through, and through, I am a regionalist and so it is not divergent from my nature for me to seek ways for the Caribbean’s islands to come together for our greater good.
I think cxcnotes provides an excellent opportunity for regional integration across the sphere of education. Teachers and students have an opportunity to come together for the sake of a common goal: learning, and succeeding at our regional exams.
There are islands whose students do particularly well in certain subjects and islands whose students do better in others. If teachers and students can come together to learn and share resources, it is possible that we can see greater success at our regional examinations.
Life As a Social Entrepreneur
2020. A pandemic.
I was out of a job and had just started Wakonté so I was limited, both in time and financial resources, in what I could contribute to the pool of valid solutions. At Wakonté our contribution was providing content in local/native African and Caribbean languages and providing packages which helped African and Caribbean entrepreneurs get their businesses online affordably. We created posters in Swahili, Igbo, Twi, Saint Lucian Kwéyòl, English, and French, to name a few. These posters informed African people on the symptoms of the virus, how it spread and what they could do to minimize the spread.
This was a valuable initiative, but what I really wanted to do, was cxcnotes. I’d wanted to do it as a student and also as an educator, but the pandemic made it something that I simply had to do as a social entrepreneur. I kept talking about it with my younger sister and then a few weeks ago, I shared that it would be my next project with a former classmate of mine. I haven’t seen her in 12 years – since we graduated 6th Form at the Sir Arthur Lewis Community College – but we talk every now and then about social issues, development and entrepreneurship. As I shared with her what I was building, she shared with me that she was planning on using Quizlet to do something similar for her students. I liked the idea and told her that I’d be happy to build in a flashcard feature on the platform.
So here I am a year and 3 months later. The platform is here.
The Platform
The Platform is a simple clean design with custom, colorful illustrations. Students will be able to create accounts, login, understand their syllabi, follow their progress on the various subjects and take quizzes. In addition to well-condensed and beautifully illustrated notes, students will also have access to high-quality audio and video recordings, specially developed flashcard sets, and subject-specific forums where they can interact with each other to share resources. Everything will be available for FREE.
The platform is also designed to accommodate our team of volunteers and donors who will include: teachers, learning specialists, videographers, audio technicians, illustrators, animators, and forum moderators.
The platform will be open to users on September 1st, 2021.
Seeking Volunteers & Donors
At Wakonté, we have an internal team of skilled digital communicators, researchers, and writers. Still, we are mindful that this project is a huge undertaking. We cannot have too many hands. As such, we are currently seeking volunteers to be able to populate the platform with as much content as possible. This is a great opportunity for skilled and educated people across the region to contribute to the creation of better resources for our students at a minimal cost: an hour or two of their time.
If you think you fit any of the following roles, please fill in our Volunteer Application, here.
The Roles
Note Contributor: If you taught or currently teach CSEC and CAPE subjects you most likely have notebooks of notes that you’ve collected over the years. We’d be happy if you donate these notes to us. You may also be a past student who’s kept excellent notes or a recent graduate who’d be willing to prepare notes for the platform. Whichever group you fall into, you may opt to only give us notes for 1 part of a topic on the syllabus, or they may be willing to share all of your notes on a section, or syllabus.
Digital Communicators: This includes videographers, audio editors, graphic artists, illustrators, and social media managers. If you can translate written content into smart, vibrant digital illustrations, we want you on our team. If you doodle or illustrate one page of notes for us, we’ll take it.
Researchers: You can be a student who just graduated, a student who’s currently attending school, or someone who is simply passionate about this undertaking. We may need your eyes and ears to help us find examples and case studies relevant to each CARICOM country. If you can find information, you can be a part of our journey.
Writers and Editors: Our team of editors and writers will create content for any content not provided by our esteemed note contributors. If you write well, can pick out errors in writing, or can find simpler ways to say complex things, we’ll take an hour of your time.
Forum Moderators: If you write well, and can communicate effectively with students between the ages of 13 and 20 to help us keep “law and order” in our subject-specific fora.
A few months ago, I, and about 249 other young entrepreneurs from across Latin-America and the Caribbean landed in Detroit, Michigan to mark the commencement of a US Department of State-sponsored program called the Young Leaders of the Americas Initiative. On arriving in Detroit, the Saint Lucian cohort – which I am a part of – decided to go out to have a late lunch. As we sat at an Applebees awaiting the arrival of our food, our conversation veered toward politics, policymaking, and entrepreneurship. What do we need to create an environment where entrepreneurship in the region thrives?
My suggestion was simple. I wanted to meet with Caribbean governments who form part of the CARICOM to put forth a simple proposal: Each Caribbean island will pick a niche (or not) – tech, agriculture, food, arts, culture, film or music – set up at least one live-in co-working space, with a small live-in team of mentors and skilled professionals with expertise in branding and marketing, programming, app, and web development. We would bring in 30-50 fellows from across the world mainly from across the Caribbean and Africa. The government would then inject a $100,000USD – $150,000USD investment to the program. This investment would be used to fund ideas, giving companies $2000USD to $5000USD to put towards the growth and development of their companies within the 6-month incubator/accelerator program. In exchange, every company coming out of the program MUST be registered in that country, thereby ensuring their possible success will give back to the country in the form of payment of taxes. Another key feature of the proposal is that Caribbean governments who host and fund these programs would also gain an equity stake in each company.
Two women and two men seated at the table, my suggestions were greeted with a barrage of male laughter. The two men at the table felt that this was not nearly enough, perhaps not taking into consideration that in being responsible for providing the housing for the members of the accelerator/co-working space, one Caribbean government would be investing anywhere from $350,000USD-$500,000USD to get such a program off the ground.
Over the 6 weeks that would follow this discussion, I would spend copious amounts of time analyzing the questions asked by my counterparts as well as the reasons supporting their analysis that the idea would likely fail solely because the financial accelerant provided would not be enough. I would also spend copious amounts of time speaking to development practitioners about how I best feel we can use entrepreneurship as a tool for Caribbean Development.
At the end of my thoughts, I remained confident that while the proposal currently excluded companies seeking larger capital investments, that it would fill a need. At the end of my thoughts I recognized that common to the pushback was the comparison of American ecosystems to that of the ones in the Caribbean. It became clear to me that a huge part of our struggle to create a functioning and robust ecosystem for Caribbean Entrepreneurs is our desire to pattern it after Silicon Valley. At the end of my thoughts I had highlighted three things that we need to rethink if we are concerned with developing a successful Caribbean Entrepreneurial ecosystem – one tailored to the unique constraints encountered in the region; one founded on the understanding that the Caribbean is not Silicon Valley and it shouldn’t try to be.
1. Defining Our Success
Many of us have read on the vastness of the wealth of the “successful ones” out of Silicon Valley. They’re valued in the millions and billions. Perhaps what we’ve read has begun to influence how we define success, because in the Caribbean we typically define a successful company as one where at least one of the shareholders is a millionaire. But how realistic is this if the solution provided is one that will address specific Caribbean problems?
A successful Caribbean company does not necessarily mean a million-dollar company. A successful Caribbean company may be one banking $50,000USD or $250,000USD in profits every year. If you ask me, a successful Caribbean company is one which seeks to solve the region’s problems in efficient ways while maintaining financial sustainability.
Am I saying that Caribbean companies should not seek million dollar valuations?
Absolutely not!
I have personal goals of becoming a millionaire, so my aim here is not to discourage anyone from the attainment of that goal. My aim here is to help Caribbean Entrepreneurs consider what drives their definition of success. Is it financial profit or impact and value?
This is important because our narrative around what a successful company is has fueled a narrative of its own “Think Global”. We now tell entrepreneurs not to look to serve only the Caribbean market if they want to be successful. This is problematic because more than anything else the Caribbean Entrepreneurial ecosystem should be seen as an ally to the Caribbean’s development. When it is viewed that way, the reality becomes that some companies will spring up to solve problems that are unique and exclusive to the Caribbean. When it is viewed through these lenses it becomes clear that every Caribbean company CANNOT scale to meet global needs. And there is nothing wrong with that.
2. Seeking Large Injections of Capital Investment
One of the most cited success stories about incubator/accelerator programs is Y-Combinator. Today, Y-Combinator has a competitive entry process and gives selected entrants a $120,000USD financial accelerant. What most people don’t know is that Y-Combinator did not start off giving $120,000USD. They started off giving $10,000USD. As the program grew in stature and success, many investors wanted to become a part of the movement in Silicon Valley and thus made more funds available.
When I made my simple suggestion, one of the young men at the table countered that he had needed much more than what I was offering and that the amount I was offering would not even assist him in getting his company off the ground. I was curious. I had knowledge of the costs it entailed to set up a company like his so I asked how much he needed to get his company off the ground. When he dropped a bomb of the amount that he thought he needed to just get his company off the ground – $15,000XCD – I was flabbergasted.
To some people, this is not a large amount of money. And it really is not a superior amount. But to me, relative to what it was being used for, it is. Also, I think I was more shaken that I could have outlined how he could have started the very same company with a little less than $2,000USD even without the team of experts that would come attached to the $2000USD that I was offering.
His approach to getting his company off the ground – not lean – had me evaluating why and what we seek large capital investments for. The reality is that many Caribbean companies seek more investment than they could possibly know what to do with not because they need it, but because they are following the rules of an ecosystem which has said that this is the way to go.
In the Caribbean context seeking Large Injections of Capital Investment usually means one of two things:
i. Pressure on Caribbean governments and agencies to fund Opulence as Opposed to Development
ii. Great Dependence on the Benevolence of Foreign Investors and Venture Capitalists
I’m opposed to both.
I believe that Caribbean governments are responsible for creating an environment where Caribbean companies can thrive. But I am often vocal in my opposition to the pressure that local entrepreneurs place on them to find and funnel large capital investments into local companies and events. Often these large injections of capital per business are not needed but they’re requested simply because we’re looking to pattern an ecosystem that does not fit our cultural, economic and political realities.
As it concerns the courted intrusion of Foreign Investors and Venture Capitalists both by governments and private entities, I could not be more opposed. There could not be a greater travesty to our development as a region. Amongst the many implications of this is that we are setting Caribbean companies up for failure, but I think the most poignant to be that this approach embraces everything unsustainable about development.
What, pray tell, do I mean by this?
Caribbean Entrepreneurs currently speak a lot of the sustainable development goals and how their companies aid in the attainment of these goals. However, through various discussions, I’ve noted that most Caribbean entrepreneurs define sustainable development simply as “development able to meet the needs of now”. The way in which they define this concept is important because the way in which they define it largely directs the quality and quantity of capital investment which they seek. It also largely supports their reasoning – steeped in opulence – for why they’re seeking such large investments.
When I or most development practitioners speak of sustainable development we do not define it simply as “development able to meet the needs of now” or even “development able to meet the needs of 5 years from now.” We define sustainable development as “development able to meet the needs of now without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their needs.”
When we say generation, we’re talking about at least 30 years from “now”. This means that in the context of development when evaluating the sustainability of a project, proposal or approach we need to consider how these actions affect our region now, but also how they will affect our region at least 30 years from “now”.
So how do I see large capital investments from foreign investors and venture capitalists affecting us?
Investment is ownership. Whether or not we want to admit it, investors and venture capitalists inject capital in exchange for ownership of something: our land, cheaper labor, shares in our companies, and in some instances, political power. Because of our position within the international system, the Caribbean is more often – if ever not – in a position of weakness when coming to the negotiation table. Even when it comes to private negotiations, if you’re a small Caribbean company not owned by Butch Stewart or Massy, you’re very likely in a position of weakness when coming to the negotiation table. As such, we’re often giving large pieces of land at low costs, under-priced labor, and too many shares in our companies in exchange for the large capital investments that we ask.
And no, we do not have the ability to predict the future, but we do have tools and means of evaluation which can give us an estimate of how certain actions and policies can affect us. With our current approach to building the ecosystem – seeking large injections of capital investment from foreign investors and venture capitalists – it is not far-fetched to say that within the next 30 years, we would have limited the ability of future generations to own land and to own homes. We are leasing large pieces of land at next to nothing to entities that can afford to pay top dollar for them. As such, we are limiting the availability of land in the face of rising demand, and thus pushing the prices of land up; up to a point where most locals cannot afford it. I can see that 30 years from now, the lion share of the profits – the majority of the region’s wealth – would be leaving the region to go back to some economic powerhouse, funneled through their investors and venture capitalists. I can see that using our current approach, 30 years from now, not unlike the plantation system, Caribbean people would have again found themselves producing for the profit of some metropole. Then again, has this ever not been a part of our identity?
I believe that the time will come where Caribbean entrepreneurs can seek large capital investments from foreign investors and venture capitalists while simultaneously controlling the narrative but I don’t think that the time is just yet. As of now, we don’t hold the power necessary to dictate terms. I believe that the way forward – if we want to be owners of a brand of development that is sustainable – is for this generation of entrepreneurs to bite the bullet and to be content to develop at a rate which we can afford to develop at; be content to scale our companies at the rate which we can afford to.
The way forward is lean and sacrificial.
This article from Solomon Igori shows how at MEST, one of Africa’s leading accelerator programs, participants are given an equivalent of $4USD to successfully start a business. This group was able to convert it to a little over $173USD after three days.
3. The Exclusive Caribbean Entrepreneur Clique
A few weeks ago, one of my Facebook connections from Ghana shared this:
There is so much idol worship in Silicon Valley re: successful founders and investors. But there is a common denominator for success which is rarely addressed: Privilege.
Source: Eric Bahn, General Partner, and Co-Founder at Hustle Fund.*
I want to confess my own journey of success, as it relates to Privilege. My Korean parents were poor when they arrived in the US, seeking opportunities for their future kids. Upon immigrating, my father Germanized the spelling of our last name (B-A-H-N), with the rational that a white-sounding last name would open up opportunities. I think it has.
By the time I was born, my parents were doing very well. I never suffered their trauma of poverty. I lived in a big house and went to the best public schools. As a kid, I never felt like I was missing any resources. Partly because of my abundant resources, I was able to attend Stanford. Mom and Dad paid for that too, and I graduated with no debt. They even bought me a Honda after completing grad school! (I know, spoiled brat).
With my family safety net, great education, zero debt, economy car, and abundance mindset–I went forth into the world ready to take huge risks. Taking risks was easy and natural because I COULD AFFORD IT. Success followed. I’m not saying that I didn’t work hard throughout my journey, but Privilege was like a tailwind that seemed to accelerate my career. In Silicon Valley, Privilege seems more normal/common than not.
It feels like so many founders/investors here aren’t running the same race as regular people. If this were a 100-meter dash, we got a 40-meter head start while everyone else waits at the starting line. Our team HustleFundVC believes great founders look like anyone and come from anywhere–privileged or not. I’m starting to realize that Privilege should be an important factor in the assessment of founders.
By better understanding a founder’s personal journey, we should use that knowledge to tare how far along privileged/unprivileged founders should perform across an equal timeline. Founders with a lot of resources will naturally report more progress than founders who have very little resources, over the same period of time. Both still could be equally great in outcome over the long term.
I’m still thinking a lot about how to approach Privilege in Silicon Valley. As a starting point, I wish more people here would recognize it when discussing their ‘self-made’ success.
I love this piece because Eric Bahn shares something that we rarely ever think about when we cite Silicon Valley as “the” model: the privilege of the majority of its members. I’m also sharing it because it brings us to the next element: the exclusivity that I hope we renounce in our endeavors to build the Caribbean ecosystem.
It wouldn’t be wrong to say that Silicon Valley is America’s country club for entrepreneurs. It naturally excludes certain demographics and socio-economic groups and while many of these groups are fighting to change its composition, I see the builders of the Caribbean ecosystem rushing to and adopting similar exclusive approaches and attitudes to grow the Caribbean ecosystem.
If we want to build a robust ecosystem as quickly as possible, we need all hands on deck. The Caribbean is way too small for us to hog resources; skilled people, or the right connections. The Caribbean is way too small for us to have to deal with issues such as not being able to access the right people at the right time because of skin tone, gender or an unfamiliar last name. The Caribbean is way too small for our most successful to not purposely seek to – to not go out of their way to – mentor, aid or give a platform to those coming up. If we can rethink our approach to exclusivity – support for a mindset that is concerned with who will be the first crab out of the barrel – we would have remedied a large part of the difficulties we face in constructing a robust Caribbean entrepreneurial ecosystem.
As I conclude, I wish not to be seen as someone professing to know it all. I do believe that some of my proposals can be tweaked to provide even greater efficiency than what is currently inherent. Still, as a young Caribbean Entrepreneur keen on ensuring that we are creating and growing profitable companies without compromising sustainability – that we are raising entrepreneurs who are not just concerned with profit, but solutions – I hold firm in my assessments that rethinking these 3 key points will do well to grow a fruitful ecosystem.
It’s 2:57 am and I can’t sleep. God has placed some things of great significance on my heart as it pertains relationships and emotions and how these things affect Christian men and women. I am a 22-year-old Christian woman. I have never been in a relationship. My lips remain untouched. I am a virgin. Yet, I am not owner to that sense of wholeness and purity that should come with my chaste status. During the past couple of weeks, I spent some time talking to God about that nagging feeling that stalked me; that feeling said, “Chadia, being a virgin isn’t enough.” For others, it would read that being celibate isn’t enough. I found out that there was great merit to this uncomfortable feeling and the disconcerting thought which it bred, and I will share with you why.
I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’m not exactly the type of woman who shies away from men. I shy away from relationships, but not men. My personality is one that revels in winning. As such, I became a master of the game. I enjoyed mind games and the sense of conquest that came with them, and the man who was the quintessential flirt was my perfect prey. I took pleasure in my ability to make a man fall, but remain detached. By the time I was 17, I had read so many books that explained the psychology of the man in contrast to the psychology of the woman that I had gleaned an understanding of men, well beyond my years. I understood things about them that they themselves were yet to become aware of. What I thought was fun, would taint something that I deemed very valuable: my purity.
In the Christian realm we often view purity as something having to do only with the physical; only as it pertains to sex. But I am fast learning that emotional integrity is a big part of purity. God started to reveal to me how we as young men and women give off pieces of ourselves to others who are not our spouses. As a young woman, I shouldn’t be doing for another man what only my husband should experience. Too many men have experienced the care and affection that only my husband should experience, too many men have heard me say words that only my husband should hear, and too many men have received the affirmation that only my husband should receive. Too many men have seen and experienced the power behind the woman that I am; the power that only my husband should experience. As a young man, too many women should not have experienced the care and affection that only your wife should experience, too many women should not have heard you say the words that only your wife should hear, and too many women should not have received the affirmation that only your wife should receive.
When you’re young, armed with knowledge but not enough wisdom, the attachment (the individual to you) that comes with giving away these pieces of yourself deceives you into believing that you are in a position of power. You believe that these other people are getting hurt, but you have it under control. Trust me when I say that you have told yourself a big lie. To young women, I say to you that you are compromising your emotional wholeness, which is unfair to both you and your future husband. To young men, I say to you that your are compromising your emotional wholeness which is unfair both to you and your future wife. We become nothing but robots of the game. The game was not created for us. We are Christians. It is not ours to play.
I asked myself if God allowed me to meet my husband today, would I be in a place of emotional integrity that he is worthy of? How many men am I emotionally attached to? How many “friends” do I need to redefine my relationship with? Will I be able to love him as I should? Would I be as open as I could be? How unfair would it be to him, that another man has experienced what is his? This is why I say that we simply become robots of the game. All my game-playing has left me in a place of emotional brokenness. I shouldn’t be afraid to become attached to someone if he is serious about me, and has created an atmosphere of trust and comfort, but I am. I shouldn’t be afraid to share certain things with someone if he has created an atmosphere of trust and comfort, but I am. It is important to guard one’s heart, but mine is in a maximum security prison.
Despite still having some unattached pieces from the puzzle of emotional wholeness and integrity, God has allowed me to put many of the pieces back together again. I don’t flirt anymore. It is a dangerous and unfair game. I watch how I give compliments. There is a compliment and then there is the deliberate stroking of the ego. I understand that it is not my job to make a man who is not my husband or intended husband feel like he is Superman. You affirm a man too much, he either becomes attached if he’s not averse to the idea of a relationship or runs if he is averse. Affirmation is a powerful thing to a man, and if you can make him feel like he’s Superman he also recognizes that you can become his kryptonite; meaning he recognizes that you are a force to be taken seriously. I’ve learnt to set boundaries, and I’ve learnt to ask questions. I ask from the get-go what a man’s intentions are where I’m concerned. If you are not serious about me, then we shouldn’t be having certain conversations, we shouldn’t be sharing certain jokes and information, and you probably shouldn’t be taking me out to nice, cozy dinners and giving me gifts. I’ve also taken note of the things that I value. I understand that giving gifts is a big part of how I demonstrate love, so I don’t give gifts to all and sundry. It may be a normal way of life to the man, but to me, it’s a big deal, and somewhat alters the way I feel about an individual.
I don’t know how to guide a young man along the path of emotional integrity, but I can say this: I believe that God has called the young men in the body to stand apart from the young men of the world. They stand apart by understanding that their rightful place is the place of leadership. They stand apart by understanding that theirs is a role of protection, and subsequently demonstrating this comprehension by guarding and protecting the emotions of the young women with whom they interact. They stand apart by operating in integrity when pursuing a woman in the body. Gentlemen, it makes absolutely no sense pursuing women when you know that settling down is afar off for you. It is not your job to flatter a young woman that you have no intention of taking seriously, and you should feel absolutely no guilt about it. It doesn’t matter how much you say that we are “just friends”. If your mouth is saying one thing but your actions are saying another, the woman will most likely go with what you are doing. Do not be alarmed that even after you’ve said a million times that we are just friends that a woman falls for you if you’re treating her like only someone who is her man should.
My eyes have become heavy, and the clacking sound of the keys of my keyboard is no longer appealing. I have church in a few hours, but I would hope that this post would open the discourse on emotional integrity amongst young men and women of God and even those who are in the world. After all, he came that we would all have life more abundantly. I’m off for now. And it is possible that you will hear more on this topic from me. Shalom!
I wrote this blog post at 22 years old, and truth be told I was unprepared for the barrage of emails and comments it would receive. I’ve since followed it up with a book that attempts to answer the many questions that I received. You can pick up a copy of Being A Virgin Isn’t Enough by clicking on HERE.




