By someone else’s standards, my 2021 may have been a fairly normal year, but in my eyes, it was more than normal; one of the best years I’ve had in a bit. For one, this was the first year that I was debt-free since I left university in 2013. And I think that made everything better. I was able to start off a few projects, explore Ghana, travel to see my family in Saint Lucia, upgrade my tech, and start a new lease in Ghana. Btw, I’m extremely proud of my new apartment because I went through so much to be able to grab something that I liked affordably in these Accra streets. But we’ll chat about that in another blog post. For now, this is what my 2021 looked like.
My New Ventures
I’m always starting some type of business. I’m addicted to the thrill of coming up with an idea and bringing it to life. This year was no different and as a matter of fact, being debt-free gave me extra space to explore even more of my ideas.
I started off the Guru Project, a group of directories dedicated to helping. Unfortunately, besides building the platforms, I wasn’t able to do much with this project in 2021. As a matter of fact, I purposely put it on hold after an incident with a sales hire discouraged me greatly. Can you imagine your girl giving the last of her funds to a young man who promised that he would be able to assist in gaining the necessary traction for the directories, sitting in your house drinking ONLY tea for two days, and at the end of the month, he delivers nothing?
Well… that was me. The things I do for my companies.
For my most successful venture of 2021, I partnered with a Ghanaian friend to start and grow a natural skin and beauty care company called Dinam Naturals. Within the space of 3 months, we retailed many many units of our products and expanded to new markets. Currently, we’ve shipped to Brazil, Canada, Kenya, Trinidad and Tobago, Saint Lucia, the United States, the United Kingdom, and Germany. To add to that, we started a small, growing distribution network and things went so well, that we’ve sold out all of our stock and have back orders that we never anticipated.
Now, I love what we’ve been able to accomplish with Dinam Naturals, but I’d say that my most fulfilling undertaking of 2021 is notes. At notes. we created two platforms – wasscenotes. and cxcnotes. – to provide free, structured, syllabi-tailored, high-quality, comprehensive learning resources for WASSCE, CAPE, and CXC students across West Africa and the Caribbean. The notes are beautifully illustrated and written to suit their target audience. The platform also has built-in: flash card sets, forum discussions, audio notes (in English and other local languages), and tutorial videos tailored to the WASSCE, CAPE, and CSEC curricula.
I Did Lots of Fulfilling Work
Towards the latter part of the year, I started working as a consultant with an Open Education consultancy firm out of Cambridge, United Kingdom. I gave lots of my time and diligence toward the implementation of a Learning Recovery Program across the Caribbean region, and I got something in return: an opportunity to pick the brains of some of the most experienced consultants in the open education development space. I gained tons of perspective about the steps I could take to move notes. forward, and I’m looking forward to implementing in 2022 God willing.
I Did Better with Managing My Finances
Whoo! I’m 30, and I still don’t have the whole management of my personal finances down yet; for a number of reasons:
- I loan out money; too much money. I can’t say no if someone is in need and let’s just say I have an uncanny knack for loaning money to people who always do not pay me back at the agreed-upon time.
- Because I work in the consultancy/freelance space, I don’t make a set amount of money consistently. I can have glutton months where I make tons of money and other months of famine where I make little to NO money.
Still, this year was one of my best years financially. I was able to meet my needs, and then some, and I was also able to help others to meet theirs. I gave generously. Very early on, I stopped tracking how much money I gave out because if I did I probably would have a heart attack.
I left the year with a nice chunk of savings ( I save with Esusu) even after being able to get my fam some pretty dope gifts. My bank in the US even finally convinced me to take up the dreaded “credit card”. Y’all know I don’t like credit, but my banker had a long chat with me about some of my future plans, and building my credit seemed a very good idea at the time. So… I have a credit card. One which I’ve been using very well, might I add.
Bringing the Sexy Ras Back
A long time ago, I used to wear dreadlocks, and ever since I cut them off almost seven years ago, I’ve struggled to make a decision between wearing my hair completely short, or loc’d. Well, this year, my 30th year of life, I took the plunge. I am bringing the “sexy Ras” back. I am officially 9 months locked today, and I can’t wait to show you all what my hair looks like on its first anniversary.
2021 Was A Happy Year
Since I saw my horrible Cambridge A Level grades, I’ve hated exams, and I’ve consistently battled anxiety and depression. In 2021, 11 years since the genesis of that struggle, I had one of my happiest years. I took time to do things. Besides work. I explored Ghana, hit up a couple of restaurants, and art galleries, and even took in a bit of the nightlife. I traveled. In the middle of a pandemic. On my way home, I stopped over in New York for five days and these 5 days marked literally the most amount of time that I’ve spent exploring the city for ALL of the times I’ve gone to New York.
Jason graduated university at the top of his class. He double-majored in History & Economics and was particularly interested in helping create developmental prescriptions for underdeveloped regions. He knew that there was a possibility that he wouldn’t get his dream job straight out of university, but two years in, he wasn’t expecting to be unemployed and concerned for what he would eat every day. This was a season of trouble and he was dreading it.
Most people, like Jason, are faced with a sense of dread when they hear the word, “trouble”. Trouble is not something that we embrace or want. These are hard times. These are uncomfortable times. These are times where our children are not doing well in school. These are times where we’re insecure about the way we look. These are times when our loved ones die. These are times when we can’t pay off our debts. These are times when everyone deserts us. These are troubling times.
But why do we so despise trouble? Is it because it is a bad thing?
A few weeks ago, I was doing my laundry downstairs our house. I was alone and my surroundings were quiet so I took the time as an opportunity to sit with my thoughts. I reflected on some of the difficulties that I was facing and had been facing since my exodus from university life in 2013. And I was like, “Man, I am so tired of this, God. When does this end?”
The voice of God swiftly responded to my complaints. It said, “I want you to change your perspective of trouble.”
At the word “trouble”, my mind’s eye was given an animation of a square-headed little nuisance. He jumped from place to place, gracing any and everyone with his unwanted presence. A woman was pouring ingredients into a bowl getting ready to whisk it into a beautiful consistency and before she could finish pouring in all of her eggs, he hopped unto the spoon and “troubled” the contents of the bowl. He stirred fiercely.
He jumped off the spoon and run out of the house. He was looking to impose his presence on some other unsuspecting people. As he run towards a car with a couple discussing what they were going to have for supper, he saw a puddle of water and kicked it with joy. He wouldn’t be trouble if he had not troubled that water. He then run towards the car with that unsuspecting couple. He shook the car with all of his might, leaving the couple startled and the car displaced.
The animation ended, but by the end of that little episode where I crazily chuckled and smiled to no one or anything, my understanding of trouble had been redefined. Still, as if to cement what he was bringing to my attention, God brought to my remembrance a passage of Scripture: John 5:1-4.
1After this there was a feast of the Jews; and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.2 Now there is at Jerusalem by the sheep market a pool, which is called in the Hebrew tongue Bethesda, having five porches. 3 In these lay a great multitude of impotent folk, of blind, halt, withered, waiting for the moving of the water.4 For an angel went down at a certain season into the pool, and troubled the water: whosoever then first after the troubling of the water stepped in was made whole of whatsoever disease he had.
I was familiar with the passage and the reminder added clarity to what had been provided by the animation, but I felt like I needed to read it. I rushed upstairs to my room to grab my Bible. And there it was…
At the risk of having this read or sound like a typed out sermon, turn your attention to verse 3 with me. Note the state of people before the troubled thing; in this case, water. They were impotent, blind, halt and withered. And they were anticipating a move: a move of water; a move in the water.
By this point I was near speaking in tongues. I kid. But I was bubbling with excitement. I still didn’t want trouble and would take a pass on it if it was offered to me politely but I was beginning to understand it’s significance.
It’s significance was further heightened when God brought to my attention the significance of what was being troubled: water. I want you to think of water and its symbolism in the Bible. Water, even in secular circles is symbolic of life. Hold on to that symbolism. You’ll need it.
But anyhoo…
At this point, I was like, “Ok God. I hear you. I get you. My perspective is changing. I’m definitely expecting a great move or shift in my life. I want to go from poor to rich. I want to go from proud to humble. So I’m definitely like these people at the pool waiting for a move.” And then I hit verse 4.
Verse 4: Something happened which created the movement of water. The angel troubled the water.
What?
I said, the angel troubled the water.
Now, remember that symbolism that you were holding onto? Let’s make the conversion: The angel troubled life. The angel troubled your life.
At that point I wasn’t so excited anymore. I was like, “Ok God. I hear you. This trouble that I am experiencing is here to create that movement or shift in my life that I’m desiring and asking of you”. My face literally looked like a frowning smiley. But then he wasn’t done. He said, “One more thing. Look at what happened after the water – your life – is troubled.”
“…whosoever then first after the troubling of the water stepped in was made whole of whatsoever disease he had.”
Yup. After the water was troubled and the sick embraced it for what it was, they rushed to step into it, and there was a conversion. Those who were impotent became powerful. Those who were blind gained vision, those who were halt gained movement and those who were withered became upright and alive again.
My excitement peaked again.
In applying this understanding of trouble to my life, I was encouraged to embrace troubled times. I was encouraged to see them for what they really are. I was encouraged to see them as moments that would provide clarity in my vision and fuel for my movement. I was encouraged to see them as moments that would provide a surge of power in my life; moments that would see me upright in my faith where I had withered. I learnt that there was virtue in trouble.
When did we become God?
When did we come into the arrogance that causes us to believe that we can speak to the morning or the day and cause it to be what we say it should be?
One of the things that our generation does best is to minimize the sovereignty of God. We have suddenly come into a knowledge of all of this power, but it is a power not guided by the bounds of humility. It is a power that exalts itself above the sovereignty of God.
Where is our humility?
Where is our submission to the will and desires of God?
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
Luke 10:19 (KJV)
If there is one thing that I’ve gathered it is that the power that God has given unto us as human beings through his son Jesus Christ is not for the sake of dictating or commanding the matters and elements that He has expressly stated are within His control and His control alone. Power has been given unto us to trample the works of the enemy and to destroy the kingdom of darkness. We have not been given a power that is in the same measurement as the power of God. From that, we know that we do not even own an iota of the power necessary to command our morning or our dog’s morning for that matter.
But Chadia, This is in the Bible
Where?
You mean Job 38?
Let us look at this portion of Scripture that men have so shamelessly convoluted.
Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind:
2 “Who is this that questions my wisdom
with such ignorant words?
3 Brace yourself like a man,
because I have some questions for you,
and you must answer them.
4 “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Tell me, if you know so much.
5 Who determined its dimensions
and stretched out the surveying line?
6 What supports its foundations,
and who laid its cornerstone
7 as the morning stars sang together
and all the angels[a] shouted for joy?
8 “Who kept the sea inside its boundaries
as it burst from the womb,
9 and as I clothed it with clouds
and wrapped it in thick darkness?
10 For I locked it behind barred gates,
limiting its shores.
11 I said, ‘This far and no farther will you come.
Here your proud waves must stop!’
12 “Have you ever commanded the morning to appear
and caused the dawn to rise in the east?
13 Have you made daylight spread to the ends of the earth,
to bring an end to the night’s wickedness?
Job 38 captures a conversation between God and Job. God is in shock that a measly human being would question Him about what He has and hasn’t allowed. Job, in his calamity, began to adopt a posture of arrogance and irreverence to God. It is somewhat understandable. The man had lost everything, he was riddled with sickness and he just couldn’t seem to find an answer for the question of why he was experiencing the things that he was experiencing. But even then God found it necessary to come down and to humble him by asking him a series of questions that would force him to once again recognize the power and sovereignty that ONLY He, GOD, possessed.
The only answers that Job could have given to the questions found in Job Chapter 38 are, “You, God. No one, but You God.”
When God asked Job whether he had commanded the morning it wasn’t a prescription to the troubles that Job was facing. He wasn’t by any means saying to Job, “Have you commanded the morning? If you had, you wouldn’t experience what you just experienced here. If you had commanded the morning your day would have gone exactly as you told it to.”
God was saying, “Job, I am God. You have not done anything that I have done (including commanding the morning) nor can you do anything that I have done. I am God alone. I am in a class all by myself. Know that. Understand that. Know that I have control of every single thing in this universe.”
Girl, I don’t know what you’re going on about but you’re tripping. I’ve tried this and it works for me.
Yes. It works for you. But you are paying attention to the results and not how the results have been attained. This is not about what works. This is about whether what works for you is in accordance with the will and Word of God. This is not simply a matter of accomplishing a desired goal. It is also a matter of how you accomplish this goal.
Take for example two men who have set out to become millionaires. In the end, they both accomplished their goals. One peddled drugs on the corner, the other started off as a janitor and built his own cleaning company up from scratch. They both achieved the same result but do we not care about how the result was achieved?
Umm… this whole sovereignty thing. Where does free will come in? Will God not do anything that I desire?
“A sovereign God could be a dictator (God is not). Or a sovereign could abdicate the use of his powers (God has not). Ultimately God is in control of all things, though He may choose to let certain events happen according to natural laws which He has ordained.”
Charles Ryrie
The understanding of the sovereignty of God is a point that should bring us to reverence. It is not a point that seeks to force us to believe that our will or our desires have absolutely no standing. When we desire something from God, we go to Him in humility. When we desire to see God move in our favor and in alignment with our desires we go to Him in humility.
It is not God that we go to in power. We go to the Kingdom of darkness in power. We command, we dictate and we will it to come into alignment with what we desire to see: its destruction. We speak to demons and they should obey us. We speak to sickness and we are right to expect it to submit to the power that God has given to us. This is the realm where we are meant to exercise our power in Jesus Christ. We should NEVER be so arrogant as to extend into the matters that God has not given under our control.
One more thing. Didn’t Joshua Command the sun to stand still?
“12 On the day the Lord gave the Israelites victory over the Amorites, Joshua prayed to theLord in front of all the people of Israel. He said,
“Let the sun stand still over Gibeon,
and the moon over the valley of Aijalon.”
13 So the sun stood still and the moon stayed in place until the nation of Israel had defeated its enemies.”
Is this event not recorded in The Book of Jashar[b]? The sun stayed in the middle of the sky, and it did not set as on a normal day.[c] 14 There has never been a day like this one before or since, when the Lord answered such a prayer. Surely the Lord fought for Israel that day!” – Joshua 10:12-14 (NLT)
No matter what version you read it in, you come to an understanding that it was really God who made the sun stand still. No matter what version you read it in, it is clear that before the sun stood still at Joshua’s request that he prayed to God. This command came ONLY after Joshua’s request. The sun is in God’s jurisdiction. ONLY God had the power to command it to do anything and God did just that at Joshua’s request. I love how the King James Version puts verse 14. It says, “and there was no day like that before it or after it, that the Lord hearkened unto the voice of a man: for the Lord fought for Israel.”
Even then we see a pattern about the power given unto us as human beings and the use of that power. We see that this display of power that Joshua prayed for (humility), was delivered for the defeat of the enemy.
So… Command Your Morning?
The Theology behind “Command Your Morning” is dangerous. It cripples Christians. It forces us to ignore the power of the SOVEREIGN God that we serve. It makes us incapable of dealing with the calamities of life in a way that NEVER diminishes God. It forces us to believe that our POWER is so grand as to do what God has expressly said in his word that only he can do. It forces us into a place of complacency that says that we are the ones in charge of every single aspect of our lives.
From this post I want you to take the following:
1. God is sovereign
2. Power has been given unto us to defeat the enemy and the Kingdom of Darkness; not to design our lives.
3. We are not to approach God in power. He is always to be approached in humility.
4. God is sovereign 😀
It’s 2:57 am and I can’t sleep. God has placed some things of great significance on my heart as it pertains relationships and emotions and how these things affect Christian men and women. I am a 22-year-old Christian woman. I have never been in a relationship. My lips remain untouched. I am a virgin. Yet, I am not owner to that sense of wholeness and purity that should come with my chaste status. During the past couple of weeks, I spent some time talking to God about that nagging feeling that stalked me; that feeling said, “Chadia, being a virgin isn’t enough.” For others, it would read that being celibate isn’t enough. I found out that there was great merit to this uncomfortable feeling and the disconcerting thought which it bred, and I will share with you why.
I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’m not exactly the type of woman who shies away from men. I shy away from relationships, but not men. My personality is one that revels in winning. As such, I became a master of the game. I enjoyed mind games and the sense of conquest that came with them, and the man who was the quintessential flirt was my perfect prey. I took pleasure in my ability to make a man fall, but remain detached. By the time I was 17, I had read so many books that explained the psychology of the man in contrast to the psychology of the woman that I had gleaned an understanding of men, well beyond my years. I understood things about them that they themselves were yet to become aware of. What I thought was fun, would taint something that I deemed very valuable: my purity.
In the Christian realm we often view purity as something having to do only with the physical; only as it pertains to sex. But I am fast learning that emotional integrity is a big part of purity. God started to reveal to me how we as young men and women give off pieces of ourselves to others who are not our spouses. As a young woman, I shouldn’t be doing for another man what only my husband should experience. Too many men have experienced the care and affection that only my husband should experience, too many men have heard me say words that only my husband should hear, and too many men have received the affirmation that only my husband should receive. Too many men have seen and experienced the power behind the woman that I am; the power that only my husband should experience. As a young man, too many women should not have experienced the care and affection that only your wife should experience, too many women should not have heard you say the words that only your wife should hear, and too many women should not have received the affirmation that only your wife should receive.
When you’re young, armed with knowledge but not enough wisdom, the attachment (the individual to you) that comes with giving away these pieces of yourself deceives you into believing that you are in a position of power. You believe that these other people are getting hurt, but you have it under control. Trust me when I say that you have told yourself a big lie. To young women, I say to you that you are compromising your emotional wholeness, which is unfair to both you and your future husband. To young men, I say to you that your are compromising your emotional wholeness which is unfair both to you and your future wife. We become nothing but robots of the game. The game was not created for us. We are Christians. It is not ours to play.
I asked myself if God allowed me to meet my husband today, would I be in a place of emotional integrity that he is worthy of? How many men am I emotionally attached to? How many “friends” do I need to redefine my relationship with? Will I be able to love him as I should? Would I be as open as I could be? How unfair would it be to him, that another man has experienced what is his? This is why I say that we simply become robots of the game. All my game-playing has left me in a place of emotional brokenness. I shouldn’t be afraid to become attached to someone if he is serious about me, and has created an atmosphere of trust and comfort, but I am. I shouldn’t be afraid to share certain things with someone if he has created an atmosphere of trust and comfort, but I am. It is important to guard one’s heart, but mine is in a maximum security prison.
Despite still having some unattached pieces from the puzzle of emotional wholeness and integrity, God has allowed me to put many of the pieces back together again. I don’t flirt anymore. It is a dangerous and unfair game. I watch how I give compliments. There is a compliment and then there is the deliberate stroking of the ego. I understand that it is not my job to make a man who is not my husband or intended husband feel like he is Superman. You affirm a man too much, he either becomes attached if he’s not averse to the idea of a relationship or runs if he is averse. Affirmation is a powerful thing to a man, and if you can make him feel like he’s Superman he also recognizes that you can become his kryptonite; meaning he recognizes that you are a force to be taken seriously. I’ve learnt to set boundaries, and I’ve learnt to ask questions. I ask from the get-go what a man’s intentions are where I’m concerned. If you are not serious about me, then we shouldn’t be having certain conversations, we shouldn’t be sharing certain jokes and information, and you probably shouldn’t be taking me out to nice, cozy dinners and giving me gifts. I’ve also taken note of the things that I value. I understand that giving gifts is a big part of how I demonstrate love, so I don’t give gifts to all and sundry. It may be a normal way of life to the man, but to me, it’s a big deal, and somewhat alters the way I feel about an individual.
I don’t know how to guide a young man along the path of emotional integrity, but I can say this: I believe that God has called the young men in the body to stand apart from the young men of the world. They stand apart by understanding that their rightful place is the place of leadership. They stand apart by understanding that theirs is a role of protection, and subsequently demonstrating this comprehension by guarding and protecting the emotions of the young women with whom they interact. They stand apart by operating in integrity when pursuing a woman in the body. Gentlemen, it makes absolutely no sense pursuing women when you know that settling down is afar off for you. It is not your job to flatter a young woman that you have no intention of taking seriously, and you should feel absolutely no guilt about it. It doesn’t matter how much you say that we are “just friends”. If your mouth is saying one thing but your actions are saying another, the woman will most likely go with what you are doing. Do not be alarmed that even after you’ve said a million times that we are just friends that a woman falls for you if you’re treating her like only someone who is her man should.
My eyes have become heavy, and the clacking sound of the keys of my keyboard is no longer appealing. I have church in a few hours, but I would hope that this post would open the discourse on emotional integrity amongst young men and women of God and even those who are in the world. After all, he came that we would all have life more abundantly. I’m off for now. And it is possible that you will hear more on this topic from me. Shalom!
I wrote this blog post at 22 years old, and truth be told I was unprepared for the barrage of emails and comments it would receive. I’ve since followed it up with a book that attempts to answer the many questions that I received. You can pick up a copy of Being A Virgin Isn’t Enough by clicking on HERE.