chadiamathurin

Before you delve into the introduction, I’d like to leave this note here, for those who will get to the end:

First off, if you’ve ever had a dream, then you NEED dreamer. Pre-order your copy here, but just in case you need some more convincing, read along.

Many of the things I say here will resonate with you. Deeply. What I felt on that day in April may be your reality this very moment, or you may have felt as I did on that fateful April day at one point in your life. If even one line resonates with you, do not hesitate to pre-order a copy of dreamer. It’s kin to having a personal coach as you walk the sometimes depressing, sometimes frustrating, many times rocky, but oh-so-worth-it road to fulfilled dreams and purpose.

When you pre-order, you will receive some perks; like a cheaper price. But if I’m being real, that 20-minute call with me alone is worth it. We can talk about what you need to be able to get from one point to the next, we can talk about a business idea, we can talk about that book you want to publish, or that YouTube Channel you want to start, we can talk about dealing with procrastination, or we can just plain talk. Chances are that if I can’t help you, I know someone who can, or I know someone who knows someone, who can. By the way, this is the last time that my time will ever be this cheap.

So here we go…

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At 11:23 pm GMT on April 14th, 2020, I started off a conversation with a virtual stranger. These were the words:

“I’m supremely frustrated with life.

I have numerous interests and passions, and I don’t know which to pursue. 

I have prayed. 

Taken counsel. 

Waited. 

I’m unsatisfied with where my life is, to be honest.  

I do a lot, but I don’t feel like I’m financially compensated for what I give. 

‘Ah fed up.”

At 29, I’ve done a few things. I’ve written and published 3 books under my own publishing house, and I’ve even helped other Caribbean authors successfully publish their own work. I’ve graced stages with internationally acclaimed musicians, I’ve spoken to crowds about the name and fame of Christ, I’ve started a few businesses that have impacted lives, I’ve created multiple platforms where African and Caribbean men and women can share their stories in their own words and on their own terms, and I have a few notable awards and recognitions in the mix.

And no, I’m no Steven Furtick, Heather Lindsey, or TD Jakes. And no, my awards do not fit the classifications of a Grammy, an Oscar, a nod from Forbes, or a New York Times Bestseller (yet..). Having said this, if one is to search for someone who has done nothing of note or service in this life, they probably wouldn’t come looking for me. 

Still, at 29, as alluded to in my messages to a person whom I had never before met, I’m unfulfilled. I have responsibilities and obligations which currently keep me from pursuing the things which I feel called to do, and I constantly face intense opposition and obstacles in the pursuit of my goals. I’m tired, sometimes depressed, and frustrated. Needless to say, I’m not living the life I’ve dreamed of.

I know that I’m not alone. Conversations with my peers bring up very similar, if not equal concerns. We wonder if we’ve been duped. We wonder if our big dreams – the ones which we have been encouraged to pursue in fervency – are nothing but delusions. We often wonder if we will ever get to the destinations that have occupied the crevices of both our conscious and subconscious. We often wonder if the combination of our drive, ambition and work ethic will ever lead us to their logical end; a manifestation of success, prosperity, and wealth. We often wonder if what we aspire to can be attained while we hold on to integrity and morality. We wonder. And on the evening of April 14th, I wondered.

My mental wanderings drove me. To conversation. With someone I really didn’t know. A matter of great unusualness for me. And even after our very helpful conversation, I still found rest on the streets of frustration. You see, on the evening of the 14th of April, I had an encounter that drove me to a destination that perfectly encapsulates a sense of unfulfillment. Usually, the events after a visit to this place are characterized by a few days or weeks of depression; the kind which makes it a matter of difficulty for me to get out of bed and face life with any semblance of enthusiasm. However, this time around, I had a bit of a different response. After my conversation with this virtual stranger, I was still frustrated, but the voice in my head was, unusually, not berating me or encouraging my frustration. It was saying something different from the other times. It was so clear to me, that I even made it a post on my Facebook wall.

I’ve done the pit, I’ve been to the palace and been thrown in prison. In 2020, I’m saying, “Bye-bye” to the holding cell. I will be called out of prison to govern. 

I know, I know. This sounds like something a pastor would say at an Old Year’s Night Service; sometimes right before the passing of an offering plate. This sounds like the typical New Year’s Eve sermon where pastors seek to encourage and motivate their flock to make entrance into a new calendar year with hope and expectation. God knows I hate the sequence of events for its, sometimes, lack of sobriety. And I promise you that I am a woman who is spiritually sober. Nonetheless, these are the words that greeted my frustration. And no, I had not been listening to any deep sermons in the days prior. No, I wasn’t reading any motivational books. Truth be told, I had been wallowing in an abyss of self-pity and had seldom been in the Word as a good Christian should. This came out of nowhere.

Anyhoo, immediately after I shared this status on Facebook, I felt compelled to open up my Bible to the story of Joseph. If there is a story that I know well, it’s this dreamer’s story. I know it so well that there was no need for me to even Google the scriptural reference, as is a matter of custom when I am unsure of references. I know that the genesis of the story is found in Genesis Chapter 37, and that’s exactly where I landed. 

I know this story, but for reasons inexplicable, reading it this time around brought to light some previously unseen nuggets. Or maybe I had seen them in my previous readings, but they just had not yet resonated with me as they did in that moment. 

As I delved deeper into the story, I also reflected on the people whose lives I admire; those who, in my estimation, have arrived at the destination of their dreams: The Steve Jobs-es, the Craig Groeschels, the Henry Kissingers, the TD Jakes-es, the Kirk Franklins, the Alicia Keys, the Michael Jordans, the Lebron James-es, the Oprah Winfreys, and the A.W. Tozers. I recognized that NONE of them were overnight successes and that their stories tell of lives that have followed a blueprint not dissimilar from mine; not dissimilar from Joseph’s.

From the very onset, Joseph was marked to become Egypt’s governor. His destiny was set. He was favored with a gift that foreshadowed what was imminent. And as if that weren’t enough hinting, at 17, he was given a series of dreams  – obnoxious and seemingly outrageous ones – that wouldn’t show forth as reality until 13 years later. As a matter of fact, very few things about the string of events that followed the dreams which Joseph had been given suggested that he was on the path to, or near their fulfillment. 

Thrown into a pit? 

Sold into slavery?

Thrown into prison? 

At one point, he did make entry into an arena that teased him of what was to come, but for the most part, although it was anything but, his rise seemed sudden. In hindsight, every single experience – even the ones which seemed to be so far-fetched from both the purpose which was previously foreshadowed and the prophecies which his dreams spake – was important and necessary.

The story of Joseph is a timeless classic, and in an age where more than ever, we are encouraged to pursue all of our crazy, outrageous, world-changing, world-impacting dreams, it couldn’t be more relevant.

A huge reason for its relevance is that it so prudently opposes the ethea of instant, quick and accelerated that are of centrality to our present-day value system. In so doing, it serves as both a caution and an encouragement to the dreamer who feels that he or she is distant from the fulfillment of their dreams. “You’ll get there,” it says. “Slow down a little. Process is important. This is not the end” are all whispers emanating from the story if we take the time to listen carefully.

And the story also gives its reader an edge. That we are given a bird’s eye view of so many of the things which happened from start to finish, we can make certain gleanings that someone traversing the journey for the first time cannot. Many of the lessons which we can glean from Joseph’s story would only have been available to him in hindsight. But we have access NOW. Today. And we perish not, for knowledge is ours.

We all have goals, dreams, and aspirations. All of them are huge, beyond our understanding, and requisite of copious amounts of faith. Many of them will take us down paths unexpected, and during this trek, at certain points, some of us will find large amounts of our rest in the bosoms of frustration, depression, and confusion. That’s where I am today, and many share a common space with me. However, after reading Joseph’s story, I believe that I have a better, often overlooked, understanding of what the journey to fulfilled dreams looks like. And I share it with you.

dreamer. is the consideration of how one man’s life has provided for us a clear reality of what the journey to fulfilled dreams looks like: process. And, Yes. Even in the 21st. century. 

I don’t know that Joseph’s story will keep us fully from being lost, wandering, wondering, and discouraged, but I believe that for those who embrace its wisdom, the difficulties, strains, and faithlessness along, no doubt, what is an uncertain journey will be mitigated. Someone has gone before us, and it’s been documented. We can learn what he did well, and we can also learn from what he didn’t do well. The purpose of Joseph’s story is to assist us in “getting understanding”.

How do we determine what dreams are worthy? 

What do we do with our dreams?

Do we even pursue them? 

What are some of the experiences/challenges that we may face on the journey to realizing our dreams? 

What roles will people play on this journey? 

Are we even on the right track? 

The above are some of the questions that I believe “dreamer.” will help provide the answers for.

For some, what I write here may not be a matter of novelty, but it may be a much-needed refresher. For others, it will change how they now view the experiences that they’ve had or are having and will strengthen them to continue on a journey that may oftentimes seem like a difficult and hopeless road. For another set, dreamer. will completely blow their minds and turn their worlds around. I hope for all, dreamer. is an encouragement that the journey to fulfilled dreams, amidst all the difficulties and trials, leads to one destination: Purpose fulfilled. And what’s a life without purpose?